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Dec. 29th, 2010

Dad, I'm your little girl, your baby girl. Your princess. Why won't you come home to me, I'm left here, abandoned with this mess to clean up. Where ever you are, hear my cries and see my tears because I cannot do this without you, my father.

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 You CAN do this. Just think of how happy you will be when you wake up tomorrow, crap free of your body. Yes, you did have some broccoli, a bit of salad and a candy cane, but that's better than having a complete binge. 
Tomorrow is a new day, a new start. Things are going to be good. Keep this up for one week and you'll see changes. You can do this. All it takes it lying, and hiding, which is nothing new.
You've done this before and you can do it again, things have been tough lately and its been difficult to stay consistent but now is the right time. Leaving mom's watch for 9 days soon and you'll come back being skinny :) Sean will love it :)
Make Sean proud to have a girlfriend who's skinny. Do it for him. 
One advil
two advil
three advil...four?
Five advil
six advil
seven advil...more?

Ease the pain until you only feel numb.

Jul. 21st, 2010

Ja I love you,
Oh yes I do,
And it's true

You came into my life
And all these girls one day will make an excellent wife

Amazing is one way to describe these girls
They're all beautiful like a necklace made of pearls

Girls, you've helped me when I'm sad
And when the times were nothing but bad
You managed to put a smile on my face
When my whole life...I wanted to erase

Ja I love you,
Oh yes I do,
And it's true

Lol...so this poem is lame, I didn't try to make it sound amazing, so it's cheesy but 100% driven from my heart!
I love you all!!!!!!!!
xx Charlotte.

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I just want to be happy.

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i started the day so well, managed to skip breakie, had an apple and a bit extra for lunch, but then after school was just bad.
i got excited that it was so easy to eat because...
How is everyone?

So im 118, gar. i've had just short of 1000 calories today, double gar. And i still have dinner, but ill like try and get out of it.

I'll try to post the pictures i took later. lj cut wont work for some reason :(
WHATTT??!? how the hell did my weight jump to fucking 117! this is crazy. No, okay, tomorrow im finding out for sure my weight. im going to the gym in my school and im getting weighed on of those old school scales that they have in the doctors rooms. then ill post again that night with the weight i had during the day (it'll be large because i will have eaten once).
when i move out of my house, i swear to god im living only on activia yogurt. ill be thin :)


Came home from a party tonight. Everything horrible from my past, all the worst things, the things that I allowed myself to bleed over, came back. The worst part? I can't tell anyone what's wrong or why. Bottled up and released in tears. Flesh staining tears.

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